short letters to people who hurt me (in no particular order)

are you over that horrible self loathing? did you ever stop being a bully? did you stop hating people different to you. have you done anything for your life?

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i haven't grown since the last you saw my body. it haunts me. i still inhabit the same flesh you lusted over, all those years ago. i hope you get your dick cut off. fuck you for making me this way.

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are your pets okay? did you move out? i heard your favorite band is releasing music soon. i hurt you and you hurt me and i dont know what that makes either of us.

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i told you that I was afraid i was too much, that i would scare you off. you reassured me with love in your every word that i wouldn't. what changed? what did i do?

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sometimes i wish you had actually succeeded. sometimes i wish i had died there, with your hands around my neck, and you had to live with the guilt. the last i heard about you, you were sad and alone. good.

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was your little game funny to you, you asshole? was it fun to toy with my emotions like that? did you think i was just one more stupid little kid to lead along?

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i still wonder if you did actually cheat with your friend, like my paranoia told me. i dont know if it would make me feel better, to know you had, or hadnt. im still unravelling the shame you made me feel.